anyway i write.
don´t know what to say.
life is nothing to be understood,
seems like that.
i don´t know even that.
all i can say is:
all else is a story.
we all have our traumas.
to be with it,
but maybe that is just another theory.
an explanation for something that cannot be explained.
and i´m a pretender.
i am all and nothing.
we all are all and nothing.
we are arrogant motherfuckers and
but who or what really lives this life?
is there really a "you" that is in control of "your" thoughts and feelings?
so who is under control?
and who is it, that is aware of the thoughts?
sorry friend, i hope it doesn´t sound too confusing!
we all do.
no shame to ask for it.
maybe it would help
1. how do i FEEL?
2. what do i NEED now? (really need!)
okay, maybe that´s bullshit,
if no-one does
and don´t feel terrified if strange thoughts arise after you question yourself, what you really NEED.
maybe the answer is: "i NEED to kill my mother..."
if you can totally allow that thought, you don´t have to kill her in reality.
this life is not personal.
but we take it personal.
yesterday i went home with my bike and it started to rain.
okay i had a waterproof jacket but my trousers were soaked!
"the rain is my enemy and it´s against me."
but i didn´t promise you to help you.
no promise, you know!